Absolutely Unfinished
by havingsomethingtosay
Summary: "He doesn't have a lot of people, you know, from his past." She turned to look at Luke, "It might be nice for you to reach out." Rory nodded slowly and walked back to her mother.


**Absolutely Unfinished**

"Mom!" Rory yelled and ran tripping slightly over the strap on her messenger bag. She swore, picked up her bag and threw it over her shoulder, all the while moving towards her mother who was standing fifty feet away, beaming at her daughter, jumping up and down waiting for her.

"MOM!" She yelled again, tears welling in her eyes. She had been on the Obama campaign trail for a year and a half. During that time, she had only seen her mother twice, once during a brief trip to Connecticut in the summer and for six hours on Christmas. She slammed into her mother, knocking her down. She let out an 'oof' feeling a knee push into her ribs but she didn't care, not one bit. She and her mother were laughing and crying and she never wanted to let her go. "Oh kid, I missed you" was all her mother said before she laughed and wiped the tears away from both of their eyes.

"Mommy, take me home" she muttered pressing her face into Lorelei's shoulder.

The ride back to Stars Hallow was spent in comfortable silence. Rory was tired from her flight and she needed time to process. It had been hard, the campaign was over and The Journal didn't have much need for a full time reporter. Her worrying was only stilled by the freelance work she would be doing. She'd had a long run and loved every day of it, but now, it was good to be going home. It may have been killing a part of her, but she was determined to spend time not working, not knowing. She was making the active choice to be undecided.

As they turned onto her street she felt herself getting excited. Her bed! Her books! She was just seconds away from the comfort of familiar smells and sounds, recognizable shower pressure, and the nearly certifiable people whom she has missed so much on her countrywide excursion.

The Gilmore Girls pulled up to their home and Rory let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Lorelei turned to her daughter and smiled, grabbed her hand and said "Are you ready?" Rory turned to her and smiled, "Oh yeah" she murmured.

As Rory walked through the front door, Lorelei began to plan: "Okay, I was thinking that once you get unpacked and showered, we should head to Luke's. And then we could do Al's and a Hitchcock movie night, what do you think?"

Rory yawned and stretched "Oh I like that, which movies?"

"I was thinking _The Birds, Rear Window, Psycho,_ and then we can watch Doris Day sing "Que Sera" over and over and over again."

"Sounds great," She said walking past Lorelei to get to their shower. Her mom grabbed her hand and pulled her into a bear hug. This small act reminded Rory exactly why she came home.

Rory stepped into the shower she immediately groaned and began to wash eighteen months of campaign life away. Her hands, full of soap, worked over the crick in her neck that she's had since her first nap on that damned bus. She took a deep breath, pushing any worry she currently has away. You don't need to have a job right away, she told herself, its okay to be floating for a little while. You don't need to have all of the answers right now.

It had been her mantra for the last few weeks, and it was becoming easier with each breath. She got a job out of college so quickly, and that was important because she would never really forgive herself for dropping out of Yale. She needed to prove that she was good enough to get a job and succeed at one. And she had. Her job with The Journal was a huge success. Her articles were read, maybe not as widely as it would have been if she worked for The New York Times, but people read them and learned about Barack Obama from those articles, and he won. She followed through his campaign, staying on to write about the first days of his presidency. There was so much she was able to do and learn. And for the first time since she gave her notice, Rory was glad to be done.

It was Al's salute to Cuba, Rory and Lorelei were about six margarita's deep, giggling in their alcoholic world.

"Grandma is not really like any of the Hitchcock women."

"Yes she is, she is Tippi Hedren!"

"It's just that Grandma has so much decorum, she puts all of the Hitchcock women to shame."

"Yes, well if you didn't have such an illustrious dating history, then you would be Tippi. Those boys push you into Ingrid Bergman territory and that is not my fault."

"Yes, I am sure my bastard upbringing had nothing to do with it." Rory laughed.

Lorelei looked at her with mock betrayal, then smiled. She reached out and touched her daughter's knee to still her laughing. "I missed you baby girl. It was way too long, I mean I thought that our time apart when you were at Yale was bad, but this was just dreadful."

"It really was" Rory agreed, her thoughts turned to those months apart from her mother. "And Hey!" she exclaimed, "My boyfriends were not all bad, I don't know if I would have gone back to Yale if it weren't for—"

"No you're right," Lorelei interrupted, "Logan was very supportive of you during that time."

Rory's eyes scrunched up, "No not Logan, I meant Jess."

Lorelei straightened her eyes widening, "Jess? Excuse me? Jess?"

"Yes," Rory agreed.

"What? Rory what are you talking about?"

Rory turned to her mother exasperated, "I am talking about how Jess convinced me to go back to Yale. What, are you so drunk you don't remember? You are turning into a lightweight, Gilmore."

"I have absolutely no knowledge of this." Lorelei stared at Rory, the conversation quickly sobering her.

"I told you about this."

"You most certainly didn't," Lorelei said putting her margarita down. Then picked it up again, deciding she needed alcohol.

"Really? Huh," Rory wondered in her own drunken haze why she hadn't told her mother. It was probably because mom never liked Jess and every time he came up they started fighting. Rory hated fighting with Lorelei, Rory hated talking about Jess.

They sat there in silence for a few more seconds before Lorelei burst. "You have to tell me what happened!"

Rory startled at her mother, who was now hungrily awaiting this story, set her own drink down and began, "Oh fine. It was the week before our reunion." She paused wondering if she could go on, trying to remember if she had ever told this story. Trying to decide if it was worth bringing him up again.

"I was leaving Grandma and Grandpa's and he was just…there in the driveway. He looked exactly the same—"

"Leather jacket?" Lorelei asked.

"No, jean jacket, but he had some facial hair, almost like a stubble," Rory replied smiling slightly the wisps of nostalgia crossed her eyes. "Anyway, he came to show me his book, _The Subsect._ And it was kind of awkward, but we talked about… I don't know, life and we decided to go out the next night. On our way out, Logan showed up and invited himself along with Jess and me. It was really awful actually, which is why I am surprised I didn't tell you about it." Rory took a deep breath and Lorelei took it as an opportunity to jump in.

"It was bad?" She said watching her daughter closely.

"Oh yeah," Rory nodded, "Logan was awful, just totally rude and condescending and I couldn't even believe him. Mainly because he was putting Jess down for his life choices, and I just kept thinking what am I doing? I mean, I wasn't going to college and I was working at the DAR and Jess had written a book! He had done something great and I was not doing anything at all. Jess had something to be proud of and I didn't."

Lorelei nodded trying to understand, "So that's why you went back to Yale because Jess had written a book?"

Rory sighed, "Well no, Jess left the bar we were at. He was trying to avoid punching Logan. Which Logan would have completely deserved by the way. And I followed Jess outside to apologize and he yelled at me."

"He yelled at you? At kitten?" Lorelei made a pouty face, still studying her daughter.

"Well yeah, he basically asked me what the hell I was doing. He couldn't believe that I quit Yale and that I was dating Logan, 'we used to make fun of guys like that' he said. He kept asking me what was going on with me and when I tried to tell him it was complicated he completely shut me down. Telling me that is wasn't complicated. And I don't know he just got really quiet. It was like he could see me, and realized that I wasn't the girl who I'd been when we had dated." _I know you, I know you better than anyone. This isn't you. What's going on with you?_ Maybe he did, know her better than anyone. She used to think that title went to her mother, but Jess was the only one who knew what to say, what to do in order to get her back in school. Hell, it had only taken him one night.

"Anyways, after that he apologized and left, and the next day I called Yale about readmission."

Lorelei stared at her daughter; she was completely speechless. It was only at the end of Rory's story that Lorelei recognized the look in her daughter's eyes; it was the same one she saw in the mirror during those years she was apart from Luke. It was yearning, not for what could have been, but what could still possibly be. It was a strained look that wondered, if only.

Letting out a huge breath, Lorelei muttered "Wow."

"I know." Rory agreed.

"Wow."

"I know."

"Jess." Lorelei said incredulously.

A small smile spread across Rory's face, "Jess," she whispered.

They sat in silence for a while, until Rory asked about the Inn. Lorelei leapt into a story about Michel and Sookie getting into a fight about the carb content of her salads.

Rory decided to call it a night after her seventh margarita. She stood, stretched and kissed her mother goodnight. She crawled into bed, curled onto her side and stared at the floor. Jess. He was a thought that she rarely allowed to drift into her mind. It was dangerous, thinking about him. She never made the right decision when he was involved.

Rory knew she spent so much of their time together holding back. Holding back what she felt, what she wanted. She was so controlled with him, and he was completely closed off. Being with Jess made Rory nervous; like he would leave her if she said the wrong thing, got too close, or pushed too hard.

For the majority of their relationship, they were just skirting around each other. When they were finally together, Rory was so happy. It was easy, she thought, being with him. They could talk about books or music, just completely in sync with one another. She missed it. Him. Jess carried with him an intensity that was lost on her other boyfriends. Even when he was older, and had grown up a bit, she could still see that intensity in his eyes: the same hard wisdom. Rory drifted off to sleep thinking about those eyes and the things they did to her.

The girls sat in Luke's waiting for pancakes. Lorelei was sitting holding her hands over her eyes. Luke walked by and kissed her on the head, trying to comfort her hangover away. Rory was nursing her coffee quietly, smiling when she saw her mom and Luke, finally together. Luke ruffled her hair, "glad to have you back kiddo," he said before walking to the counter. Rory got up tentatively, and followed him.

"Hey Luke?" she asked, starting to loose her nerve.

"What's up?"

"Um… Well I was wondering, I mean… I was hoping you could tell me…. How's Jess?"

"Jess?" Luke looked a bit surprised and a bit uncomfortable. "Uh, you could always call him and ask."

"Yeah, and I would, but um the last time I was there we left things… badly. And I was thinking about him and I just thought that asking you might be kinder than bringing everything up again with him." She looked down kind of embarrassed to be talking to Luke about this.

"He's good." Luke replied, "He's still in Philadelphia, working at that publishing house. He just moved out and got his own place. He seems to be doing really well."

"Good," Rory said quickly, "good, I'm glad. I am glad he is good." They stood there for a second before Rory said, "Okay thanks Luke."

She turned around quickly seeing her mother watching her intently. "He doesn't have a lot of people, you know, from his past." She turned to look at Luke, "It might be nice for you to reach out." Rory nodded slowly and walked back to her mother.

Lorelei looked at her for a while, "So, what was that about?"

Rory glanced down at her coffee, "Nothing."

"Oh you mean the nothing who wears a leather jacket and lives in Philadelphia?"

"Yep, that nothing," Rory said with a sigh.

"Okay just making sure."

There was a long pause, long enough for Rory to start becoming self-conscious about her mother looking at her. Finally when she could take no more she turned and said "What?" defensively.

Lorelei struggled with her words for a moment, "You should call him."

Rory looked at her mother, incredulous.

"Just—come on Rory don't look at me like that." Lorelei said, "You seem like you want to call him."

Rory looked down giving a slight nod, "I don't know."

"I think you know." Her mother sighed, "You should call him."

She had been holding her phone in palm for what seemed like days. She sat there, staring down at the screen, fingers trembling, or paralyzed, she couldn't be sure which. She could not bring herself to press down on the call button. She remembered the look on his face, after they had kissed, when she told him about Logan. He was so…disappointed. Would she do that to him again? Make him look at her like that. Could she even bear it?

There was nothing to do except press call and there was no power in the universe that could make her move her finger down. She threw her phone down on her bed and collapsed back onto soft pillows. Her head buzzed, seeing no alternative, she turned over and closed her eyes, willing herself to fall asleep.

Rory had a restless night, tossing around, kicking blankets down around her ankles. When she finally opened her eyes, it was with the anticipation of seeing dawn creeping through her window. She let out a massive groan; the digital clock was blinking 4:48 am. She grabbed her phone again and opened to his name. Jess. She abruptly got up. Looking around her room, Rory found a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt, which she threw on, wrote her mother a quick note and got in her car. She took three deep breaths before turning the key.

She pulled slowly through town and parked in front of Luke's. She could see him working in the diner, getting ready for the morning rush. She got out of her car and knocked slowly on the door. Luke looked up at her surprised to see anyone at the early hour. He opened the door for her and Rory timidly walked in.

"Rory, what are you doing here?"

"Can I have some coffee? To go preferably." She muttered,

"Uh yeah, of course, where are you going?" he asked.

Rory looked down at her hands, "Philadelphia."

Luke didn't have anything to say to that. He just kept working; he poured her coffee and took out his ordering his pen and paper, scribbled something down and slid it in front of her. "Its good to have you back, Rory." Luke said with a tiny smile.

Rory looked down at the piece of paper and saw an address. She looked back at Luke and with the biggest smile she could muster she said, "I have missed you so much Luke."

Rory's GPS lead her directly to Jess' apartment, unfortunately it could not move her feet one by one up to his door. It had been a short four-hour drive down the Interstate. So short that when she looked at her clock, she was surprised to see that it was already 9 o'clock in the morning. She was sitting in her car, parked in front of his apartment. Waiting. She should just bite the bullet, that's exactly what she should do. She laid her head against the steering wheel. "What were you thinking Gilmore?" Rory muttered to herself. That she would just show up and be all stupid and spontaneous and he would be happy to see her? There was no reason for her to think that he would be okay with her just showing up…. Except, she remembered a day when she abandoned all reason and hopped a bus to New York, on the off chance that she would run into Jess in a nine-acre park. He had turned to her and just smiled, surprised but not shocked, like he knew she had it in her all along. That look made her feel confident… wanted.

She got out of her car and walked briskly up to the apartment, saw the buzzer that read 'Mariano', paused and thought about turning back. 'Stop thinking!' she told herself and pressed determinedly on the buzzer.

The next thirty seconds lasted longer than a lifetime, before she heard his voice over the speaker. "Who is it?" He sounded tired and frustrated, just slightly annoyed at the outside world encroaching on his private life. He sounded just like Jess. Rory smiled when she heard him. "Hello?" He said again. Rory jumped and pressed the button, "…Hi," she said meekly. "Hi." Jess replied sounding confused. "Uh—sorry its Rory." She waited a few seconds to silence…"Can I come up?" It only took a moment for her to hear that loud buzzing sound; she quickly grabbed the doorknob and walked up the stairs. Before she could even knock, he opened his door. She stopped suddenly, unsure of herself. But there he was, he looked just the same. He was standing in a pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt. His hair was back to how he had worn it in high school, moussed or gelled or something, curling ever so slightly over his forehead. He looked shocked to see her. And uncomfortable that she was there.

She smiled at him, putting her hands in her pockets, trying to convey that she was happy to see him. "Hey" she sighed.

"Hey." He replied, nodding slightly. He wasn't smirking. Not seeing that smirk, cocky and confident, that sent shivers down through her body to her toes and back again, made Rory instantly regret coming here. The amount of disappointment she was feeling made her wonder if she had driven four hours just to see the corners of his mouth turn slightly up.

She stared into his brown eyes for a few more moments before biting the bullet, "Can I come in?"

He let out a sigh and nodded opening the door to let her into his apartment. It was somewhat neat, however there were books and notebooks on every surface: underneath his coffee table, on the corner of his fireplace mantel, on a small window seat. The apartment was all dark and cozy, hardwood floors and leather furniture.

Rory stood looking around his apartment for a few moments, she looked back at him and smiled, he didn't return her happiness.

"What are you doing here Rory?" Jess asked angrily.

"Um… I just was… I don't know actually," she stammered.

"You don't know." He nodded mockingly. "Are you just going to stand there until you figure it out?"

"Jess," she said confused by his tone, "I am sorry about what I did to you the last time we saw each other. I know you absolutely didn't deserve it. I was awful to you. But, I don't understand why you're acting like this."

"You don't understand why I am acting like this. Huh. I am acting like this because I can't do this anymore Rory."

"You can't do what anymore? I haven't seen you in almost three years!"

"I can't do this thing that we do, where you show up and look at me with those fucking doe eyes and I make an ass of myself only to have you run away. Literally. You have literally run away from me, and I am just done with it. You can't just show up here."

"Fine!" she said putting her hands up, "I'll leave."

She walked out his door, fuming. How dare he? She runs away from him? What? He has got to be kidding? But then a thought drifted into her head; the feeling of his lips on hers for the first time, quiet desperate pressure. For five blissful seconds she was impulsive and with that last second of his lips on hers, she realized that she was cheating on Dean. Fighting every instinct in her body she, pushed Jess away. And then she did run, begging him not to tell. She ran again, years later, after he told her he loved her. The problem is that she also remembers the days of her wandering Stars Hallow after he left. She couldn't tell you which time because it happened so often. When he left her, whenever he left her, she would lose some of herself.

She turned on her heel and slammed her hand on his door three times, before he opened it.

"What?"

"You know Jess this is really unbelievable from you, of all people. We both made a lot of mistakes in our collective relationship and I have never thrown them back in your face." Rory yelled while storming into his apartment.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really! Never once, especially not when we were trying to be civil and I came here to be civil! But if you want to talk about past errors, lets talk about that day I saw you on the bus. The day when you left me again, without saying goodbye again." Rory pulled in a deep breath and continued, "I wish that day on the bus I had known you were leaving. Because then I would have been allowed to feel it. I could have been sad or angry or depressed, or a million other emotions that I deserved to be able to feel when you left me without a word. I deserved a word, Jess. What I got was weeks of not hearing from you and just assuming that we were over. Because I spent weeks after my mother told me you were gone… yeah it was my mom who told me. Luke told her cause he was too embarrassed to tell me himself…. Weeks after she told me you were gone, hoping that maybe you would call. I mean, I was 98 percent sure you wouldn't call, but damn-it Jess, two percent of me was just wishing that you would step up and send me a letter, or smoke signal or a nice fruit basket, and you never did. So, yes, maybe I have been the one to run in the past, and maybe I haven't treated you well, but that is a two way street. We have both been awful and we haven't communicated, and we have both run. So don't throw that in my face, Jess! Because its just not fair!"

Jess was silent for a very long time staring at her with dark eyes. He let out a long sigh, "You want some coffee?"

Rory nodded, trying to pull in a lot of emotion and revert back into a normal person.

They were silent while Jess got two coffee mugs and poured. Rory took several deep breaths, closed her eyes. She could smell leather, coffee, and the must of old books.

Jess turned and handed Rory her coffee. Her eyes closed as she sipped the rich coffee, nutty and perfectly bitter. "Good coffee," she muttered.

"Uh yeah," Jess mumbled back. "Do you want to sit down?"

Rory nodded and followed him to the couch. She hugged her coffee to her chest, trying to think of something to say. She was honestly exhausted by her monologue, her insomnia from the night before, and the ridiculously long drive. He was looking down, "I called."

"What? When?"

"When I was in California. I called all the time."

"Jess," Rory said slightly incredulous, "you never said anything."

"I know."

"You know."

"I guess that's our problem isn't it? We don't say the things we want to say." He was looking at her expectantly. But she looking away, drinking her coffee, ashamed or afraid to meet his eyes. "Look Rory, I don't know why you're here, and I am sorry I yelled. You sort of took me off guard, you know? But, maybe we should take advantage of this to…. I don't know, talk?"

"I like that idea," she said a small smile crept over her face.

"Yeah?" he returned her grin and they began to talk.

It took a while for them to find their way back into the easy conversation that had fueled their past relationship. But they did talk, first filling one another in on the previous few years. They were still avoiding the things that needed to be said. But it was nice to talk without delving into the dramatics that would eventually ensue. It was good to hear about Jess and his life. They spoke of writing and books, about the campaign trail, and moving back home. They laughed about Jess' old roommates and Paris and Doyle's wedding. They touched on the little things.

They had been talking for a while; the coffee mugs were long empty. Rory had curled her legs under her body and she was leaning against the couch. They had moved through a lot of conversation when Jess took a deep breath:

"So…. Whatever happened with that," he stopped himself, "…guy?"

Rory smiled, "How hard was it to hold in that expletive?"

"Most difficult thing I've done today."

"So based on the easiness of todays activities, possibly not hard at all."

"Before you got here, I could have run a marathon and you would never know."

"Yes, a marathon, because you've always been a cross country stud."

"Rory." He said seriously.

She looked down, "He asked me to marry him."

Jess took in a breath and straightened. "Really?"

"Yeah, just after graduation."

"…and?"

"I said no, obviously," she said gesturing with her left hand. "And the proposal was apparently an all or nothing offer so we broke up and I went on the campaign trail."

Her head fell against the back of the couch. Jess was looking down trying hard to not say anything. She reached across the small gap in the couch touching his arm. "Jess," he looked at her, "It was the best decision I have ever made."

"Really?" He said still emotionless.

"Yes." She replied, "I am so elated with the last few years of my life. And now that the campaign is done, I am glad to have my life unencumbered. It was the main reason I said no to him. I don't want it all planned. If I were married I wouldn't have the opportunity to explore different aspects of my life. I didn't really date at all on the campaign, and I didn't have my mother around, or my grandparents. I really got to know who I am as a singular person. One not influenced by my Mom, or Dean, or Logan… or you. It was really good for me to go it alone. I learned a lot." She nodded.

Jess looked her straight in the eye, "What did you learn?"

"I don't know" she smiled, "I learned how to be alone, how to enjoy my own company. Hell, I even made some decisions without the help of a Pro/Con list."

Jess looked at her with playful disbelief, "Without a list? I don't believe it Gilmore."

"Well I did!"

"Oh, yeah, give me one example of a big life decision you made without a pro/con list."

Rory looked away for a moment, "Well, I decided to come here."

He studied her face for a minute, "Nope, doesn't count," he teased.

"What do you mean it doesn't count?"

"You have done impulsive before and judging by the time you got here, it means you left Stars Hallow at 4:30 in the morning"

"Five."

"Okay Speed Racer, it still doesn't count. I want a big life altering decision made without a pro/con list."

"Fine, fine. I decided to quit working for The Journal."

That surprised him, "Quit? I thought they didn't have any more work for you?"

"They didn't. Not locally, they wanted me to work on the road. When they offered me the job, I thought about it and I just couldn't do it anymore. I didn't want to be on the road forever. I was ready to finally come home and spend some time as an intern somewhere, freelancing, making my bones at a more steady newspaper. And I decided that without a list."

"That is actually really cool." Jess said moving his arm around her.

"Oh yeah?" she said scooting closer to him on the couch.

"Yeah." He said, and as she moved closer to him she saw it; that perfect smirk creeping onto his lips. The second it reached his eyes she knew she was completely gone. She would not be able to resist that smirk.

Their faces were only a few inches apart. Rory's head was still lying against the couch. She was quivering with anticipation, when he reached up and stroked her cheek, tucking a piece of hair around her ear. In a moment of sheer terror, she backed away, "So, how about you?"

Jess leaned back slightly disappointed, "What about me?"

"What has your dating situation been?"

"My dating situation?" He smiled at her.

"You know what I mean." She said rolling her eyes.

"There have been some women."

"Some?"

"Yes."

"That's an interesting word."

"Is it?"

"Yes. Because you see, it could quantify many different kinds of numbers. Like 'some' could mean four, but depending on your definition of some it also could indicate more than ten or even fifty."

"Definitely wasn't fifty." He smiled.

"Jess!"

"Rory!" he mocked.

"Come on! You know all about my boyfriends."

"Yes, because I have had the misfortune to meet all of them."

"But we are sharing, and if we are to continue this lovely day of honesty then you should share information about your past or current paramours."

He leaned his head back, groaning, "You should have gone to law school."

"Does that mean you're going to cave?" She said poking him slightly in the chest.

"You are very persuasive Gilmore."

"It must be my 'fucking doe eyes.'"

"Yeah sorry about that." Jess scratched his head.

"It's forgotten."

"There was one girl before you."

"Shane." She said matter of fact-ly.

"No—damn I forgot about Shane. I had a girlfriend in New York before I was banished to Stars Hallow."

"What was her name?"

"Kate." Rory could tell how uncomfortable Jess was getting, but she was curious. This is more information than she had ever gotten from him.

"What was she like?"

"She was just a friend. We ran in similar circles, hung out on the weekends. It wasn't a big deal when I left and we 'broke up', we were just messing around."

"But, she was your first?"

He crossed his legs over, looking away from her, "Uh—yeah."

"We can move on now if that makes you feel better."

"It would make me feel monumentally better."

"Okay."

"There have been girls, Rory, a few before you and some after. Nothing serious. Nothing now."

Rory nodded, not completely sure how that made her feel. With everything that had happened that day and her crazy impulse to go to Philadelphia to see Jess, she didn't want to fall into bad habits. He had been more honest with her in the last few hours than he had been whilst they were dating. He deserved the same honesty from her.

"A few days ago my mom and I were talking about my boyfriends." He turned towards her. "I mentioned how you were the one to snap me out of my funk. You convinced me to go back to Yale. I don't know where I would be if you hadn't showed up at my Grandma's house that day."

Jess moved his arm around her. "You would have gotten there, I really didn't do anything."

"Yes, you did." She moved her head onto his arm. "You make me brave. You make me…me. When I am with you, even just for a few hours, I feel like all of the pieces of my life fall into place, and the things that don't fit, seem so obvious. I guess you are, like a compass or something. You help me find the right direction." She smiled at him and he didn't say anything, just looked at her with hard eyes. Rory let out a deep breath and leaned into him. She let her lips slide along his jawline before moving slowly towards his lips. She hovered, millimeters from his skin, looking into his eyes, asking permission. She needn't bothered, because he took that moment to crash into her.

She moved her hands into his hair, lifted herself up, swinging her leg over his waist so she was straddling him. They both paused. Taking a moment to breathe deeply. This was the closest they had ever been. In this currant position there were only a few layers of clothing separating her from him. She felt the quiet thrill of new experience. Anticipation built within her, and he moved his hands around her body, sliding them down over her breasts, down her stomach and to the edge of her jeans.

He pulled away from her, pushing his hands underneath her shirt. She shivered, her skin felt simultaneously hot and cold at his touch. He spoke as he kissed down her neck and across her collarbone, "Rory, are you sure we should be doing this?" He looked into her eyes, "Because in about thirty seconds, I will not be able to stop myself."

A mischievous grin came across her face, "Thirty whole seconds huh?" she muttered pushing her hands under his shirt and lifting it over his head. "I can do a lot of damage in thirty seconds." Her hips were moving slightly, finding an unconscious rhythm that was driving him crazy. He grabbed her neck with one hand forcing her to look him in the eye, while the other hand gripped into her hip, stilling her. "I mean it Rory. Don't start something here you can't finish."

Rory took a deep deciding breath. She cupped his face between her palms, "Jess. Let me make something perfectly clear. I don't want you to stop. I don't want— I don't want to ever stop. Okay?"

A genuine smile crossed his face, "Okay. Good." He said as he wrapped his arms around her, and lifted her up. She let out a little gasp but smiled when she saw he had relocated them to his bedroom. He laid her softly on the bed, and her senses did not return for hours.

Rory awoke to the sound of quiet clicking. She wondered if the birds in Stars Hallow had chosen this moment to all simultaneously clack on her window. Her eyes were still closed when she remembered she was in Jess' apartment. She opened her eyes and turned towards him.

Jess was sitting in his boxers, typing on his laptop. When he saw Rory turning towards him, he closed his laptop placing it on the nightstand next to him. He moved down to her, kissing her lightly on the lips. "Hi" he whispered into her lips. Her reply was lost in another breathtaking kiss. Gripping his shoulder, she broke their kiss, sighing with pleasure. "How long was I out?" she wondered, knowing that the previous night she had barely slept.

"Four hours." He laughed.

"What!" Rory screeched, "Jess I can't believe you let me sleep for four hours."

"You looked like you needed it."

"Well, thank you." She smiled and yawned. "So what were you writing earlier?"

"Writing? I wasn't writing anything." Jess mumbled rubbing his neck.

"Liar!" Rory laughed, reaching past him trying to grab his computer. He pushed her arm away wrestling her away from laptop.

"Jess!" She screamed trying to fight him back, they laughed as he pushed her to her back and held her hands above her head. He was smiling as he pushed a small kiss onto her collarbone. "Respect the writing Gilmore."

"Okay." She said slightly mollified. "I'm sorry." She pouted her lip, putting on the baby face.

"I am not giving in!" Rory made her eyes go wider, "I mean it, it's not ready yet," Jess insisted, "I'll let you read it when it's done."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll wait. But not forever, I want to know what you're writing."

"You will."

Rory liked this version of Jess. One who was playful, intimate. He was talking about the future. He had rarely shown shades of that during high school, but now it seemed possible. Rory smiled knowing that one day she would be reading the words he had written mere hours after they had made love for the first time.

They were lying down together; her head was on his chest, when she heard a faint ringing from the other room. She groaned into his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I can hear my phone from the other room. But I don't want to move."

"Let it go to voicemail."

"No, It's my mom."

"It might not be." Jess reasoned.

"Jess, more than twelve hours ago, I left town, after being home for all of two days, to go see my ex-boyfriend who also happens to be my mom's boyfriends nephew."

"And her nemesis," Jess interrupted.

"You are not my mother's nemesis." Rory insisted rolling her eyes, "Either way, I am shocked I wasn't getting calls sooner. She has shown incredible restraint."

"I guess she has." He said, getting up. He went to her bag and took her phone out, "Oh look you were right…. I can feel her glaring at me all the way from Connecticut."

"Oh hush you," Rory chastised taking her phone. "Hello." She said to her mother.

"Hello, that's all you have to say to me? You leave me a note that says 'Mom I'll call you later, love Rory' and then no call, no nothing, and LUKE here says that you stopped by and talked to him, traitor." Lorelei said mockingly, "So because you were so rude not to call, I had to take matters into my own hands and pick up the phone myself."

"I am very sorry I didn't call Mom."

"Sure you are."

"I am and I'm fine."

"You sound fine…you sound… Rory!" her mother said in a scandalized voice, "are you naked?"

"What?!" Rory screeched, standing up quickly looking for her clothes, "No, Mom, I am not naked!"

"Liar!" Jess yelled laughing from next to her on the bed. Rory glared at him snapping her fingers to shut him up.

"You are! OH MY GOD. I don't know if I can deal with this. Call me when you are not indisposed, and knowing how long this whole thing has been coming I don't expect a call for several days." Lorelei promptly hung up the phone and Rory stared down at her phone in horror. Her cheeks were bright red.

"I can't believe my mother just caught us having sex."

"That is not actually what happened, you know that right?"

"Its basically what happened. How did she know?"

"Don't you guys have some joint at the hip, mother-daughter, ESP thing going on?"

"Yes but I didn't think it let her know what clothes I'm wearing."

"Or not wearing."

"Not helping." She scolded.

"Hey, hey" Jess reached out for her, pulling her into his arms, "You're mother is a smart woman."

"That she is." Rory agreed.

"And she knew" Jess continued, "That once you saw me, you would not be able to resist jumping me."

Rory turned to Jess and glared, "Oh you think a lot of yourself don't you mister."

"Not usually, but today I happen to have hit a lucky streak," Jess said moving his hands down her arms. His eyes followed the path of his hands down her body, which was partially covered in his sheets.

Rory leaned forward and kissed Jess softly, then quickly, harder, desperate. She let out a low moan and breathed him in. "Jess," she muttered as he continued to kiss her, "As much as I am truly enjoying everything that's happening here, shouldn't we probably talk about some things."

Jess pulled back, "You're right, what do you want to talk about."

"Well, wait, I want to get dressed before we talk." Rory got up looking for her clothes. Jess stopped her abruptly; grabbing her arm, "Stop." He said.

"What?"

"Don't put your clothes on."

"Excuse me?" She laughed.

"We can talk while your naked."

"No we can't."

"Why not?" he questioned her.

"Because I would feel uncomfortable."

"I could make you feel very different things after we're done talking, or even while were talking as long as your clothes stay off."

Rory's continued laughter stilled at the thought of different things. She put on the shirt that Jess had been wearing and pulled her underwear up her thighs. "There, a compromise." She smiled at him. Grabbing his hands, she pulled him into living room.

"Why are we moving?" Jess groaned.

"Serious conversation needs a serious setting."

"And now were getting serious?"

"Yes deal with it."

She sat down, feeling nervous, once again not totally sure where to begin. "So, what's happening here," she said gesturing between the two of them.

Jess took a breath. She tried to read his face but his expressions were too difficult to discern. "I don't know Rory, you came here. I am just taking this one moment at a time."

"But, how do you feel?"

"How do you feel?" Jess countered. Rory clammed up. This was their problem. Constantly withholding. And six years later she still did not want to be the first one to speak.

But for once, Jess seemed to notice, or understand her reluctance. "Rory, when you showed up here today, I was pissed. We do this too often. And I'm glad I threw you out because we both deserve better. But when you came back again… I don't know, if we can't make this work in the long run, and all we have are small moments spent together at random junctures in our lives then I want to, you know, enjoy it."

Rory crossed her legs, taking a deep breath. "What if that's not what I want."

"… What do you mean?"

"What if I don't want to just see you from time to time. Jess, I think I want to really try this again." Rory began wringing her hands, attempting to quell her nerves. "I mean, if you want to?"

"I don't know Rory, how would that even work?"

"I'm not totally sure." Rory moved to hold Jess' hand, squeezing his fingers, "But you and I are absolutely unfinished. We didn't have a fair chance in high school. But maybe we could now."

Jess was quiet for a while, looking down at his hands, intertwined with hers. Could they make it work? He got up and grabbed a beer gesturing to Rory to see if she wanted one. Despite her saying no, Jess got two beers. Be prepared, it was…well never his motto, but it seemed like the right idea now.

"Rory," he started, "I am so fucking sorry," Rory took a deep breath, suddenly terrified. Why did she come here, only to have him reject her?

"The way I acted," he continued, "right before I left, I mean, I don't know if I was ever good to you, but I do know that I was an asshole at the end."

Rory let out a sigh of relief and started to well up. Jess reached out and touched her face, moving his thumb, stroking her cheek. "You deserved better," he murmured.

She let out a half laugh, "I don't know if that is true," she said, pausing for a moment, "but I forgive you." Rory took a minute to gather her thoughts, pulling back her tears. "And I'm sorry, for kissing you when I was still with Logan and for not calling you after I kissed you at Sookie's wedding—you didn't deserve that."

"I forgive you," Jess said, kissing her softly. "I think that if we can talk, like we have been today, then maybe we can make this work."

"That's a good idea," said Rory moving towards Jess, "So we should keep talking about our relationship."

"Exactly."

"But do we have to do that right now?" She asked biting her lip, "Because we could have a long deep conversation about our hopes and dreams. Discussing mutual father issues and crazy mothers…. Or we could have sex again."

Jess took a moment considering his options, then quickly lunged towards Rory, pinning her beneath him. His lips on hers, her legs wrapped around his waist, Rory sighed into him. She had a feeling that home, which had always been in the small town of Stars Hallow, was starting to shift to this man. The more she thought about it, the more vulnerable she felt. But instead of pulling back from that feeling, she leaned in, kissed him harder, and felt herself believing.

 **Author's Note:**

 **So, I haven't really decided what I am going to do with this... I think it stands alone really well and I don't have much of a plan on where to go with it. Please let me know what you think... Should I just do one shots along this line, or try to craft a more overarching plot?**

 **Please Review!**

 **Disclaimer: All characters and allusions belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino**


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